the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
Hypothetically, how much legal trouble do you think i will be in for stealing someone's dog?
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
This would be a good time to bring up the fact that my spider-man fork is MIA
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
I sliced my fucking arm open last night after margarita madness and had to drive myself to the ER. Got six stitches and a social worker came in and asked if I was abused due to my sex bruises. I literally had to tell her "don't worry, I like it rough"
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
I just climbed out the passenger side of my car because there was a spider on mine. I'm doing adulthood right
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
Are you doing that thing where you're convinced I made a terrible decision
Daily.
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
I genuinely attribute some of my blowjob skills to playing saxophone in highschool
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
Randomize
