ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
...you put a chicken patty in my toaster last night..
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
This gyro tastes like lonliness
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
just start off by saying "hey, i cockblocked my friend last night and need to make it up to him, could you help?"
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
I just lit a blunt like right in front of an old man and I was like sir please shieldeth your eyes
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
But then our conversations are like black box recordings. Just the stuff you hear when the plane is going down
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
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