There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
I'm trashed wearing your mom's snuggie. She says hello.
You know, Peter Parker would not have been nearly as cool if he had gotten bitten by an ant.
Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
I think "bars open christmas minneapolis" is the saddest google search i've ever done.
just bailed mom out of jail. Tell me i'm not the favorite child
Woke up with pink eye in both my eyes. That's how the threesome went
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.
REALLY should have cleaned under my bed before I had my parents come help me pack...things my parents just found: several condoms and a bottle of lube. My mom when she found a condom: "ooo ribbed. Laura's a lucky girl"
In other news I may have fractured my masturbating arm
At least it wasn't your drinking arm
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