he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
shut up. I wear heels bigger than your dick
This lady in my dui class just asked what patron was. I feel like she doesn't belong here
shouldve known this week was gonna be bad when I threw up in my coffee mug
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
Thank you for dog sitting, there is $60 on my desk to be spent on DRUGS AND/OR GAS ONLY not that food stuff people crave.
I woke up to a huge bag of McDonalds breakfast, a cup of coffe and Advil. The note read "yeah its a one night thing, but I felt bad so here you go. Thanks"
He just set a new unobtainable standard in one night stand etiquette.
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
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