I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
theres so much semen in my vacuum cleaner...
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
Why do I feel like I need to drink to feel better about the things I do when I'm drunk
Oh man. I am high, watching The Office and getting pancakes. What a country.
We kept having to tell you that you couldn't just sit wherever you wanted at Walmart. Sitting in the middle of the raw meat section was unacceptable and children were staring at you.
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
Randomize
