dude you need to get laid
me?
no, the other guy who hasn't been laid in 7 months
oh I thought you were talkin about me
wait
had no condoms so I just made do with an empty doritos bag.
her dad's the mattress king, she's genetically engineered to be good in bed
I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
Are you being sarcastic? I can't tell this time because you're in the hospital.
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
I'm just walking around Lowe's groping the carpets....
We are a team. I lure them in with my tits, feed them enough alcohol to consider homosexuality, and hand them off to you.
You're the best wingman ever.
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
Randomize
