covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
Some man just said he would jack off to my hair color.
yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
I just drank Colt45 out of a champagne glass. I feel classy.
Colt 45 out of anything is classy.
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
Alright fuck it. Alcoholic Jamie is back and here to stay.
I woke up with my panties in the cat food dish, and everything covered in honey and bruises.
Well I just had a 45 minute conversation with a lady who was drunk off her ass complaining about how her 3 sons won't talk to her anymore. No more dive bars.
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
Sorry your girlfriend got you a valentines present and you forgot to get her one.
How long will your dick be dry?
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
What's a nice way of saying 'I wish I hadn't fucked you.'
OMG I DIDNT READ THAT TEXT CAREFULLY CAUSE I'M ON THE DEVILS LETTUCE & I THREATENED TO PUNCH A CHILD OMG I'M SO SORRY
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