so explain again why im purple
no
if another girl says "im usually cleaner down there" I'm just going to shoot myself
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
today is my dealer's birthday. i dont know whether to give him the day off or call him saying happy birthday ill take a quarter please
They high fived over us while we gave them synchronized blowjobs. In the same bed. Under the same blanket.
Just retrieve me from the bathroom floor when you're done
I'm gunna send you baby bottles of vodka for those nights when you just give up
Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.
That's going to be the title of my memoir.
Clearly I was drunk when I met them I gave them a muffin. But they sure remembered me
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
I successfully cockblocked 5 people in one night. I wasnt getting any, why should they.
don’t ask me. i snorted coke off of a pregnancy test box last night. i obviously don’t make the best life choices.
Randomize
