is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
I guess I puked all over my hand too and I just looked at my roommate and said, "fix this."
Theres a picture of you standing next to a John Wayne cardboard cutout that says dont drink and drive. your buddy is shirtless holding a beer and youre holding your keys up with marker on your face.
Life lesson: When you compete in an impromptu "bloody mary chug-off," in the end, no one wins.
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
In the morning he said my plan to make 2 casseroles today was, "hot in a grandma sort of way," & I didn't think it was weird. THAT'S how hot he was.
Came home from this girls horse at 6am to find a guy lighting off roman candles in front of my door. Best walk of fame I've ever had.
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
I can't believe I got dumped for a fat chick, but at least I got four and a half years worth of free shit. So we can call it even.
I sent her a video on Snapchat of me cumming, with a Father's Day snap filter that said "#1 Dad".
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
Randomize
