Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
I don't think I can get bothered with getting laid tonight
If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
Is today national text-a-girl-whose-had-your-dick-in-her-mouth day and I just wasn't aware?? I am getting the most random "just saying hey" texts ever and that's the only common denominator.
I was rolling balls and tried to donate blood as an act of kindness to the sick person who would receive it
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
He raised his arm and dropped it in his sleep to smack himself awake. He knows his phone has an alarm clock right?
I just threw up again because I opened my eyes... God is laughing. I resorted to taking the Mexican Dramamine because I feel seasick from walking. Not helping.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
I owe you an apology, I was appointed captain of this sexy fuckship and I fell asleep at the helm.
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
Randomize
