I accidentally had sex with my boyfriend's twin last night...and he didn't stop me.
How was it?
Fantastic, but that's not the point.
Successfully pulled the houdini tonight. Check that off my list.
We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
Pete just told the whole party I'm a squirter
you hid your keys in a box of lucky charms because drunk you was apparently going to eat them for breakfast...
He passed out while I was riding him, and just when I was about to call it quits he opens his eyes and squeezes my boobs and goes Honk! Honk!
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
Omg no hes gotta go down on me. Then itll be like my vagina has kissed the stanley cup.
Apparently I called down to the hotel front desk and begged them to bring us pizza. They brought us tea.
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
Randomize
