She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
just explained the breakup in detail to my big toes. that consolation brownie was Amazing.
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
There is a homeless man handing out free beer on the city bus. He has a cooler and everything. I love this trashy yet generous city.
I just spent the last ten minutes making a timeline of my sex life. 2010 and 2011 I am calling "I can't believe Im still clean" years.
The thing is that despite the high paying career and the increased responsibility, my life hasn't changed that much. Only instead of blacking out on $2 wells at some dive I blackout on top shelf martinis in a suit. Oh and only on Fri & Sat nights. Being 30 doesn't suck as bad as everyone led me to believe.
In less than 24 hrs I went from conversing with Nobel Laureate, to hangover vomiting in front of a drive thru cashier
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
"Masturbate" is an actual item on an actual ToDo list of mine. It is at the top.
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
Randomize
