i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
Who had my phone last night? Whoever it was sent "Fuck you, you're adopted" to half the people on my contact list.
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
We tried the hang n bang, remember? You ruined it by crying and telling me you loved me while blowing me.
Your choices in alcohol this weekend are thoroughly disappointing
Costco cheesecake and whisky. A night made in heaven
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
Stumbled out of my bed this morning into the bathroom at 8 am still drunk, obviously. The Mormon on my floor was in the bathroom. I could practically hear her doing hail marys for me.
I JUST SNEEZED WITH A MOUTHFUL OF CHEWED UP CASHEWS AND THEY CAME OUT MY NOSE AND IT HURT AND NOW I HAVE A LITTLE NOSEBLEED
I think I deserve an award for the breakup text I sent him. Like a pulitzer prize or a donut or something.
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