I can't wait until weight watchers comes out with a beer
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
I told her that I thought she needed an oral mammogram. With me being pre-med she bought it.
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
That car ride home was pretty awkward. Your feeling up the girlfriend to the guy who's throwing up out the window. Thanks for that.
I found a used condom and a hairbrush in my dryer this morning.
Hiring someone to do your laundry would be a good investment.
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
Randomize
