Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
Did your dad mention the fact that you asked him for viagra at 2 in the morning?
I truly don't know anything about sober relationships. Normally I would just drunkenly yell "sex?" in a guy's face. What do I do now? Be like, sooo uhhh, wanna do it? Awkward, and even worse, I will remember clearly just how awkward it was.
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
Definitely need to find a less healthy bootycalls. All this bitch got in her fridge is feta, English muffins and wheat grass. What the fuck can I make with that???
Found 2 Coors, problem solved.
I'm pretty sure the Jahovah's witness only came to our door because the front says "Twerk Or Treat"
I just gargled with NyQuil
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
found my cat trying to steal a lighter to hide away for himself. cat what are you doing. don't pocket my lighter.
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
Randomize
