yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
Just got a full body massage. It was uncomfortable at first, but then I realized I let strangers turn off the lights and put their hands all over my naked body 3 times a week anyways.
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
Her divorce is going to cut into the amount of time we spend fucking.
I'm in awe of how selfish that is.
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
I have whiskey and jager. There's no telling what kind of monster will emerge
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
He lit a candle for the mood and ended up lighting my hair on fire while we were hooking up...moodkiller
Also, McDonald's breakfast is now 24/7. This is it. This is how I die. Face first in a pile of hashbrowns.
I woke up in a front yard I didn't recognize to a grandma tapping me with her foot. What was in that punch?
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
Randomize
