am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
Just put a sign on a baby carriage that says "all daddy wanted was a blowjob" might get fired.
I'm going to practice throwing things up the the air and catching them between my boobs, because that seems like a cool party trick.
What made this night legendary was getting pulled over for looking suspicious while wearing an iron man mask
I was hammered helping a pregnant woman at the gas station name her unborn child. We had to try everything with two different last names because she was waiting on the results of her paternity test.
I just saw my 7th grade teacher at the club. We had a pretty good talk over drinks. Turns out we both like dancing on tables.
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
Did I send you a naked snap the other day with a fat blunt in my mouth with the caption "$1200 bitches!" ?
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
