even in the morning, she still thinks my british accent is real.
Someone sent me a drink from across the bar. It was water.
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
Yea he doesn't really know about any of this yet but my game plan is to keep wowing him with my vagina and cooking skills. It's up too future me to handle the rest.
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
He called me piss drunk at 7:30pm while cooking bacon and said he was going to bed. I don't think he's taking it well.
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
i ate pretzels. i might be the first human to be hospitalized from pretzels. that's how bad this is.
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
I feel so accomplished. I've cleaned my room, done laundry, called those places, gotten jobs, and masturbated.
I'm so proud of you.
Randomize
