Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
you spent 5 minutes trying to open an empty PBR and kept saying "don't worry i'll get it i've been working out"
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
He leaned in to kiss me and I dodged him but i fell on the floor. I guess I never got up cuz I woke up on the floor and he was in his bed
Is it just me or did a policeman park your car last night?
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
Im drinking a CAN of bud light at the bar. Do you really think I care anymore?
i'm currently watching a guy eat a bunch of cacti and i have lost all faith in humanity
**cactuseses
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