Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
i just opened up my bathroom cabinet to get deodorant and found 4 bottles of natty. Its like the world wants me to miss this interview
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
I'm so proud of us for fucking the same friend group before we met in a completely unrelated instance.
my dad just asked me if my booty call guy that comes over at 3am and leaves at 6 would like to stay for sunday brunch next week. you in?
You're not drunk til you wake your roommates up screaming at your ceiling fan
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
I love that my family celebrates every holiday with a joint. Chanukah? Mazel-juana! Easter? What's more spring than the color green? Election day? What better way to celebrate democracy in action than medical pot?
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
Randomize
