I think I just was a dick to Paul Rudd.
ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
Get condoms and clear your schedule for the night. I'm bringing chinese food!
Just please never masturbate in my bed again. I'm burning my sheets as I write this.
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
I just got my evaluation. My manager told me he hated my guts and pretty much wanted to stab me in the face. Then he gave me an "exceeds expectations" on pretty much everything and a raise.
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
It's not stalking if you do it on LinkedIn...
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
Did we kick in my basement door last night?
Yes. I think you actually bought tennis shoes specifically for that application.
I sent my brother over to my ex's to get the rest of my stuff. He comes back SEVEN HOURS LATER, high as fuck without my shit! No loyalty.
I'm in the fetal position trying to figure out a way to get someone to deliver me pancakes.
Just do what I do and listen to your vagina. She’ll growl when she smells good dick
Randomize
