I fell asleep next to my cousin and woke up with my hand in her pants because i though it was lisa
So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
you're the one who masterbates every night to the titanic soundtrack
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
We eventually had to ration the melon vodka. 10 pushups per shot. THATS why my arms hurt
you're my knight in shining pee-resistant armor
DUDE, DID YOU KNOW YOU CAN JUST RENT AN ELEPHANT???
Oh God.
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
she passed out standing next to the car. her head hit the door so hard the alarm went off. she instantly snapped out of it and started sprinting away
Randomize
