Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
So... I'm really sorry I tried to sell you to random people in cars last night
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
He got 20 stiches.. Who knew so much damage could come from a single shopping cart.
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
Just induced vomiting to put out a carpet fire.
Everyone is cheering
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
Downside to Halloween: you can't tell if the guy dressed as Gene Simmons from KISS that keeps flirting with you is hot or not...I decided to err on the side of caution and assume not...
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
You don't know reunion panic until you've exfoliated your butt cheeks.
Do I need to call and sing lullabies? Because that's creepy, but I'm a really good friend.
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
Randomize
