Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
So I ate yogurt with the back of my toothbrush. I feel like I've officially been initiated into college.
i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
Funny how often beer equates to second degree burns on some portion of my body.
may have given a homeless man 70 dollars in exchange for his sandals. so yea, i'm going as jesus for next halloween.
A girl at the bar is wearing green body paint instead of a shirt. Where are you?!
Yeahhh, everybody is so helpful when a pretty girl is crying hysterically and has only one shoe and a six pack.
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
Do you think the firemen will remember me?
Yes. But you were sloppy, sobbing, and puked on two of them. You won't get in their pants.
they set my background as his mugshot to remind me "having a big penis won't be a valid excuse in a court room."
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
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