I might come over and watch a movie but I can't spend the night. my parents would wonder where i was
you're 26.
You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
I'm covered in egg mcmuffin wrappers and my room smells like dead hooker.
You handed me a red solo cup filled with vodka and Bacon. You called it the salty Russian.
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
He called it restless penis syndrome. I call it cheating.
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
I also got a mission for you and you're gonna love it. Biggest. Hospital. Party. Ever.
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
Randomize
