yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
Her parents came home early, i had to hug her mom with a condom on...
I'm picking out a half way decent top so if I get arrested I'll have a respectable mug shot photo. Always be prepared.
Yes and yes. Got taken to a Florida strip club. I desperately want to flood my eyes and ears with hand sanitizer right now.
He's just sitting there staring at my sisters teddy bear hoping it will come to life.
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
She still didn't believe that he would cheat on her so I finally said "how else would I know that his batman mask is still in the back of his car from halloween?" I think she accepted it
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
I tried to open a bottle of wine with toenail clippers last night. So this morning was obviously rough.
don't give me stepladders when i'm stoned.. i woke up to a slice of balogna nailed to the ceiling
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
Either I'm getting old or the shit show is playing earlier than it used to...
Didn't know my clit could produce that many orgasms in one night. Fuck my husband; think I might have to become a lesbian.
Randomize
