It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
He gets a blow job; I get my oil changed free of charge. And that way I only see him every 2500 miles.
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
She keeps sending, "show me your elephant trunk."
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
We got banned from that Whataburger for life. WHATABURGER. Which is saying something. They deal with drunk dumbasses every night.
Tequila happens.
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
So I think I've successful blown my foot off in a way that's going to make you call me an idiot.
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
i had to win in rock paper scissors, get called a fat whore, and make two dudes get in a fight so we could call next game on the table and you make zero cups. thanks asshole.
You know your life has gone off the rails when waking up in a Spanish hospital with alcohol poisoning and no memory of how you got there is not even your top wildest drinking story.
Randomize
