I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
did you hook up at the wedding?
No but I jerked off on the hotel sheets. I wanted to get my moneys worth.
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
I'm sorry I put you in the washing machine. I honestly thought you would fit.
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
i need to start buying Plan B in bulk and leaving them at the door. I'm really sick of walking to CVS with my one-nighters
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
I think my ball sweat smells like waffle house. might be time to change up drunken eating habits
Is it rude to send him a, "happy birthday, I hope you finally get an STD" text?
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
Woman doing my Brazilian right now says to tell you she says hi...what has our life come to?
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