So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
it's like god just wants me to be high for five days in a row. keep the blizzards coming.
I just watched my mom open a wine bottle with an electric drill. I have never been so proud.
Just realized the fur coat I am wearing to the wedding is the one I had sex with the groom in
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
Also, I called my liver hardcore in front of vet students last night and then wound up having three of them trying to palpate it. So...not saying that again.
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
All I've had to eat today are potatoes...and by that I mean vodka and chips
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
Randomize
