My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems
Things found in my vomit last night: cell phone, Von Hayes rookie card, a boot, my dignity
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
The office pool is up to $500 if you take a shit in Frank's desk drawer. Time to change the unpaid internship into a cash cow.
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
ummm im also counting the $14 dollars I gave the old guy to pay for the cab I called for him to take to the hospital last night as part of ur present.
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
You're a waste of cheezeits
Dude, we got to the strip club as they were closing, and you starting crying because, and I quote, "This is the closest to birthday sex I'm gonna get."
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
As a paramedic, it's completely unacceptable to black out on a monday. I cant handle 3 dollar shot night.
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