you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
you threw up in thedumpster behind red robin
and kept yelling "DIRTY BIRD"
I'm using process of elimination to determine which of our neighbors i fucked last night.
The only way to make beer can wizard staffs any better is to sew your own wizards robe and hat to go along with it. welcome to tuesday nights at my new apartment
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
Annnnd I didn't even notice there is a guy dancing in a jock strap beside me. That explains girls smiling at me
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
Well my mom knows that the welt I had on my forehead last month was the result of a sex accident. This holiday sucks
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
Best single mom victory - getting eaten out in my dodge caravan in the hospital parkade at midnight.Three words: screaming multiple orgasms.
Randomize
