you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
no matter how many times i close my eyes and hit ignore on my phone. i must remind myself shit i still have to see her at work
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives.
Dude. All those hangovers I never had came back with a vengeance. I just opened the door of this car to barf. The car was not motionless. We are on the autobahn.
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
I was trying to get everyone to go to the bar but I puked on my hands, so nobody took me seriously.
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
Stephen I'm in a lecture and the lecturer just said 'you can CHOOSE to put something in your mouth and swallow it" i'm the only one here who burst out laughing, this is awkward. Thought you'd appreciate it.
They'll never let you practice medicine.
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
We are in Florida for 3 days. The people in charge of shit brought: a waffle maker, a cheese grater and a SEWING MACHINE
AND NO VODKA
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
First time a guy goes down on me and his dog had its head on my knee the whole time. I swear it was judging me.
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
Randomize
