every time i drive by the road she lives on, i scream in the car "i'm sorry i'm sleeping with your boyfriend!" makes me feel less whore-y.
This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
Also I climbed atop a mailbox with a toilet paper hat and a wolverine claw made of glowsticks, screaming at passers-by that they were going to die. Control me
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
Now, one of you come feed me, the other read me my physics book...I'm too hungover for this shit...
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
Bro i just made a pipe out of a mechanical pencil and the top to an eye drop bottle. Does that make me some kind of pot god?
Either my boss has an enormous dick or he’s hiding a can of tennis balls in his bike shorts
Maybe I will go to the company picnic
Randomize
