her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
explain the missing patches of hair on my cat. now.
I just used 'come play with my balls' as a legitimate booty call attempt. And it worked.
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
Getting high magically turns headaches into rainbows.
My mom just told me she would flash her tits to a cop to get me out of jail, and then we high-fived.
So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
I'm gonna look back at these days one day and be like "damn I shoulda been turnt but I was in bed instead watching netflix"
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
Randomize
