Ill pay your DUI fine if you just come see me nooooowwwww
no. its 2:30am and im not going to jail for a booty call
I just claimed my unemployment in Vegas. This seems wrong.
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
Lest we forget our veterans. Also that two years ago I lost my virginity on this day in a hot tub. Go me for being the worst person on earth.
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
A duck just looked me in the eye whilst I peed in a lake. I feel so dirty.
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
He says I vaguely mumbled happy New year, kissed him, threw up and then went back to sleep.
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
Foreign objects found in purse this morning include: chocolate covered pretzels, pepper spray, and farm animal shaped key chains (you know the ones you squeeze and fake poop comes out, yea those)
I don't know who's idea it was to get wine for a frat party but my poor pitiful hung over self really fucking hates them.
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