What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
isn't that the guy who always buys you drinks?
yeah. i love a man who still buys me drinks after the bar cuts me off.
next time on intervention
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
And I'm only telling you that because I really wanted to use 'my boyfriend' and 'dick biscuit' in the same sentence.
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
I want you to know that the guy who peed in your bed got fat.
When he was leaving this morning he said I'll text you later on and I replied with if you don't that's cool too.
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
you were huddled over the toilet, throwing up, and every few seconds you'd look up and say "this is such a waste of vodka" then put your head back down and start puking again
Randomize
