Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
she made my bed before she left. i think i'm gonna keep banging her to get the housework done
I came home drunk to my night light on and a Hershey's bar on my bed. Mom knows me too well.
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
My nose hurts from that stripper beating me with her tits
I have a diplomatic trade for you. My pants for your rum. Tomorrow?
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
We should leave before they realize I dumped a bowl of Fritos in your bag just in case I got hungry
They both showed up at the same time... to surprise me. One had flowers and the other had chocolates. Needless to say, I will be at the bar all weekend long trying to figure out how this happens.
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
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