Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
Okay. But I hope it isn't expensive lingerie. Because I'm ripping it off Hulk Hogan style.
The lady at Walgreens was all excited my pregnancy tests had a coupon.
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
I didn't know your ex looked like a male Khloe Kardashian?
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
Also you know what's irritating? When the guy you're sleeping with refuses to like any of your Instagram posts
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
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