I think someone spiked my drink last night. .. Like all 20 of them.
Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
Let the vodka take you where it will. Like Pocahontas, but wasted
My gyno overestimated by 3 TIMES the amount of sex we have per week. First of all, he must think I'm a freak. Secondly, I think we should catch up.
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
I need to stop acting like a porn star that isn't getting paid
Imma go take shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
im about to bake her parents a "thank you for making such beautiful babies, ive had sex with all 5 of them" cake
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
I am the image of restraint, it's why im just hungover and not in the hospital
Randomize
