ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
I'd rather drink alone in my closet than hang out with that girl
I love you and miss you, which in no way dimishes how much I hate the person you turned out to be, but I still love and miss you.
yo - did your mom get a boob job (I think she did)
I'm trying real hard to keep it on the DL how drunk I am at lunch with my grandma.
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
I feel bad for the person that has to clean the dishes that I peed on last night.
i just walked downstairs to find my brother wearing a crossingguards vest and boxers. when i asked him where he got it he just looked at me, smiled, and kept feeding the dog yogurt
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
Way too stoned bro. Was laying down on my back and thought for a good 30 mins what it would be like to be a turtle stuck on its shell
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
Did you clean my apartment?
I thought it was a dream, I'm sorry
Please stay more often
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
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