Note to self: When getting ready to leave with a kid in a wheelchair don't say Let's roll
Glitter + Penis = Best. Idea. Ever.
I had sex with billy mayes last night. HE KEPT IN CHARACTER THE WHOLE TIME.
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
I don't know if it's the amount i drank last night or the number of taylor swift statuses on facebook but i feel like puking everywhere
Do you want the really bad news or the bad news? Or do you want it in chronological order?
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
Just warning you the last time I had captain Morgan I gave a blow job to a guy that looked like Jesus.
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
I have booze and I wanna give you a bj. How can you be mad at me?
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
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