Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
his recent searches consisted of "World record for not bathing" and "Miley Cyrus vs Taylor Swift". Not even i am that desperate.
i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
Around noon tomorrow come looking for me. I'll be on Mill wearing whatever clothes I haven't lost yet. DO NOT REPLY. DO NOT ASK QUESTIONS. JUST DO IT.
You owe me new eyes. The ones I have are burned with your balls into the back of my eyes. And every time I close them, your balls are right there...
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
Like we were literally doing coke off his insulin pump
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
I'm just like... Utterly amazed that we're still alive at this point. Who'da thunk it....
wtf I can't believe that bar tender told on me to my mom
I want to see a guy holding a pizza and a bottle of scotch and a box of magnums. I'm a simple woman.
Me-World Problems: do I have my boyfriend come to my birthday party in drag, or is that too weird for the first time meeting literally any of my friends
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
You ripped the leaves off the top of a pineapple then rubbed the rough skin part all over your face saying "this is how you mate with other species"
Randomize
