Laying in bed naked with the guy I just fucked, talking to his WIFE who's sitting across from us like we're having a fucking tea party. This is interesting.
saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
Currently behind the bar at some asian place, pouring drinks for everyone with a snake around my neck
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
Dude. I'm super jealous I'm not there. Plus I look really pretty tonight, I'm wearing my long blue dress, I have long blonde hair, and I'm just sitting here hitting Larry the Long Bong. I'll pretend like your 3 spirits are floating in my smoke. Fuck.
I pulled a muscle last night drunk dirty snapchatting him
I come from a long history of big boobed German, Swedish, and Irish women. And then there's me. Mother nature was like "Naaaaaaah."
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
I know we were going to go hiking today, but I don’t think I can face reality until Wednesday
I might be offended if you don't bang me tomorrow. You know, for America.
I refuse to believe you if you're trying to tell me humanity as a whole isn't sad, tired, and craving Chinese food.
He held my hair while I gave him a blow job. Now that's teamwork.
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
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