tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
That's how twitter works, right?
I don't know where I am but the food in the fridge is awesome.
I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
He was taking the caps off the vodka bottles and throwing them out the window so we'd have to finish them. Engineers have the best logic.
I love when I'm alone in the house. It's like pants were never invented.
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
I'm not trying to alarm you guys, but I think I just swallowed a ketchup packet.
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
Just found the measuring tape in my bathroom. How drunk could I have possibly been on Saturday?!
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
Randomize
