do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
i told him i was on my period. he said, and i quote "can we not just lay down some newspapers or something?"
i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
so i had a dream that andrew cuomo ate me out. guess who i'm voting for?
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
She tried to beat the waitress over the head with a bread stick because one of her martini olives was missing a pimento. All while screaming "IT'S GAMEDAY BITCH"
Olive Garden will never be the same.
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence.
I love that we can live in a world where I can Google "Harry Potter lizard" and an illustration for my dream pops up
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
I’m drunk and naked and looking for my charger - title of my autobiography.
I’m sorry, some of us common-folk don’t have access to steady dick
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
Randomize
