let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
I told her I had to go to work this morning, got fully dressed in a suit, walked her out, drove around the block, parked, and walked right back in my apt and went back to sleep..
And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
Who was that guy you went home with?
Hang on, I'm trying to ask his name right now.
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
Hey had an urgent voicemail from the Illinois national guard....have you been using my identity for your blackout weekend?
Yes and yes
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
Imagine the quality of nudes you could send with a selfie stick
I told her we had to stay at the bar until at least midnight because that's when my direct deposit hit, don't tell me i'm not responsible
I need my comforter. Pls bring it to me and drape me in it like an animal pelt. Ps I'm naked.
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
Randomize
