WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
i told my boss i want to eat her tits. 90 percent sure i'm getting fired
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
You hit on my mom and then passed out in the kiddie pool.
For future reference "I'm too drunk to come today" is an acceptable line to get out of work. I love my job
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
Where are you and why are you fighting with a bird?
I will buy you batman underwear babe. I'll make sure you wear them every time we have to adult.
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
I'm honestly just saving all my liver's power for when I die this weekend. that's how it works right
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
Fuck the walk of shame. I make this shit glorious.
The fact that you arent wearing shoes probably just adds to the classiness
Condom wrapper stuck to my shirt ups the anty
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