whats up tonight?
Ice cream, wine, and teabags... Not the earl grey kind
The chick I went home with last night had a happy trail
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
Bars not open yet, I feel like a desperate alcoholic wandering around outside.
I just threw up in my hands while sitting on the toilet
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
You know what the worst feeling in the world is? Sitting in your 6pm AA meeting still hungover from the night before
You ever fart so hard while you are asleep that you wake up screaming?
You don't marry someone you don't want to fuck senseless this is 2014 dammit
Never doubt me. I am drunk and unstoppable and I will finish this book
I've had your balls on my face a bunch of times so the least you could do is buy a girl some dinner.
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
Randomize
