Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
Unless you watched your mom's very literal rendition of "I touch myself" while she was wearing a bikini, your vacation wasn't as bad as mine.
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
You asked me to be the big spoon, when you passed out on the stairs
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
All I'm asking for is flower occasionally, and in return you get to come home to me naked in heels. Is that to much to ask for?
Having my alarm go off at 3:30 makes me wanna rip my dick off and shove it through my eye socket
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
I started the day with dreams of getting laid and ended it with the reality of eating Taco Bell in my bed with my dog.
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
I just bought a blender and 120 pizza rolls. Bring tequila.
He just ate a tooth whitening strip...
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
Randomize
