Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
they won't let me drive with my sombrero
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
He left his phone. Turns out he;s been sexting with some girls who can't spell. Time to break out the herpes scare.
ACTUALLY FUNNIEST MOMENT OF THE NIGHT WAS WHEN YOU WERE TALKING TO HIM AND YOU SAID "WHEN YOU MEET ME IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE A LOT ANGRIER." And then he said "WHEN I MEET YOU IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE LESS DRUNK, HOPEFULLY."
Did you really just reference your penis in a pep talk? I think I may love you more now.
All I ever do is give guys anxiety problems and flaccid penises.
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
I think the hamburger goblin stole my cigarettes. I left my purse behind her table and they're not in it now.
Forget about letting a 70-year-old man suck on my tits for coke... telling my new boyfriend about it was the poor life choice.
Randomize
