Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
I hope you have irresponsible drunk insurance because you're about to pay a deductible
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
I really need to stop turning to the BDSM dungeon masters of tinder whenever my heart hurts
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